People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale. If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. It frees you from doing things you dislike. The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer. Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind. You have to spread it around or it smells. Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions. “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – Will SmithĢ9. I don’t like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back. Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl WilsonĢ0There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. “Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail” – Richard Friedmanġ9. “Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emersonġ8. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orbenġ7. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. “Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” – Oscar Wildeġ6. “He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymousġ5. “Money is the best deodorant.” – Elizabeth Taylorġ4. “The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbardĥ Examples of Bad Money Advice Financial Experts Share (and you follow)ġ3. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnsonħ. “It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family GuyĦ. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Masonĥ. “Money is not the most important thing in the world. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” – Woody AllenĤ. “Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.” – Helen Gurley Brownģ. “Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.” – William Somerset MaughamĢ. If I missed your favorite, be sure to share in the comments below. So here you have it….95 funny and inspirational quotes about money. I figured it would be much easier to put them all in one place.

I’m always looking for good quotes about money and frankly got tired always searching for them. I’ve scoured the internet looking for some of the funniest and inspirational money quotes that money can buy. There’s nothing more inspirational that a good quote.Īnd there’s nothing more funny than a good quote, too.

Funny catch phrases short